15 12 2008

You are exceptional and unique. Your quest in life is to identify exactly who you are and why you’re here. What’s important to you is the journey of self discovery, determining who you are today is not the same as who you’ll be tomorrow.

You resist being categorized and are quick to question any social standard that you sense someone imposing on you. Stereotypical gender roles always interest you and, in your mind, connect to issues that most other people would never consider related.

You are particularly accepting of other people and have a special talent for seeing people’s true selves instinctively. It takes time for you to trust your gut instinct about people because even you don’t believe that someone could be so right about another person’s nature so quickly. This intuitive sense about what people are thinking is your special talent. You may think it is available to everyone and that others just ignore it, but in truth others could never develop the skill to the level which comes naturally to you.

To you everything happens on a personal level. Your friends come to you for advice because they know that you’ll love them for who they are and put yourself in their shoes to look at the world. Your advice, although varied in delivery, usually boils down to “be true to yourself” and “listen to your heart.” You are also an excellent confidant because things told to you virtually never return to anyone through the grapevine.

You focus more on nurturing other’s self esteem than any other type. As a result of this naturally caring nature, people often turn to you for moral support. You exude this quality so strongly that even strangers will sometimes spontaneously begin confiding their deepest secrets in you.

You are by far the most talented of all types at reading nonverbal cues. In your admirable attempts to convey a message diplomatically, those who aren’t sensitive to inflection, tone, insinuations or body language sometimes simply do not get your message because they only receive the verbal half of what you said.

In the same way that you’re the best at reading nonverbal cues, you’re also the best at sending them. When you speak they miss the nonverbal half of your message, then they speak and transmit twice the message (verbal + nonverbal) which often gives away more than they intended but is sometimes carelessly inaccurate since they don’t send nonverbal cues as well as you do. When you’re tempted to assign bias based on someone’s tone or other nonverbal cues it is wise to have them restate what they said and see if ignoring the careless, unintentional nonverbal half of their message lets their true meaning through.

As a parent you are very supportive and start educating your child early according to your values. Your children know exactly where you stand and what is expected of them. You overflow with positivity when your child sticks to the program, and reflect any negative behavior directly on yourself and the quality of your parenting. Your focus is making sure that your child has a strong self-image and high self-esteem. More than other parents it is important for you to be friends with your children.

You are more philosophical than most and passionately discuss ethics and justice more than other types. Your life has meaning, your life is significant. It is when ethical issues come up in conversation that you most strongly sense that you are fundamentally different from other people. You become visually emotionally focused when these issues arise, while others easily laugh them off and switch topics to something trivial. To you, it seems that everyone should be passionate about ending racism, sexism and all the other –isms out there.

You go by the book and are suspicious of anyone suggesting that rules or laws should be ignored. You think constantly about improving laws, and see that at a major avenue for advancing social change because you see legislation and rule creation as the consensus opinion of the group working together. You want nothing more than for there to be peace and harmony in the world, and your actions clearly reflect that vision.

While you can instantly tell what’s on someone else’s mind, you can sometimes be confused yourself when it comes to the mixture of your own emotions. This, mixed with your reserved and complex nature can make it difficult for others to get to know you.

You have a special interest in figurative language. You are more strongly moved by poetry and literature than any other type. You are often interested in the finer points of writing and studying literature because you believe that how something is written or spoken is inextricably connected to its meaning.

In school you were an excellent student, the teacher’s pet. More than the satisfaction of learning, you enjoyed pleasing your instructors with your hard work and thoughtfulness and delighted in the personal praise they gave you in return. You got to know your instructors on a personal level and may have even kept in touch with certain of them after moving on to other classes.

You can “connect” with any individual person and practically read their mind, but you have a natural tendency to match your actions to the expectations you read from their mind and yearn for company that lets you truly, naturally be yourself. You struggle between letting yourself naturally match the sentiment of the group (which feels like putting on a façade) or letting your individuality shine, which may allow people to see how different you are.

Your life has meaning, your life is significant. You think all people should spend more time thinking about who they are and what their purpose in life is.





Why I shouldn’t be allowed to have the internet.

11 08 2008

So in my random browsing of the interwebs today, I somehow (and I’m not really sure how this somehow happened) found a lovely article, like so:

Fight Club in Union Square

Which, if you read, is actually pretty funny, along with the other articles on the website. I especially enjoyed the video of the two emo asian kids dueling to the death. But maybe that’s just me.

 

In other news, I’m currently in a three hour argument over who would win in a fight, Spiderman or Wolverine.

This all began with the question, who would you rather be: Spiderman or Batman? My answer, without question, was Batman. Batman is not genetically altered. He is not an extraordinarily good soul. He is just a man that has both selfish and addictive urges and tendencies, but is generally a pretty stand up guy in that he uses his power in society to help those in need. Everything he does is completely plausible. He uses physics, not fantasy. Awesome, to say the least. Spiderman, however, although very cool and very much so one of the greatest superheroes of our time, was just a lame dorky kid that accidentally got bitten by a spider and then got jacked overnight. Yeah, it’d be pretty fucking cool to have a web shoot out of your limbs, but I think I’d enjoy the glory more if it was my own power battling the evil-doers than, say, a blue and red spider’s. I will give my friend some credit, however. His choice is Spiderman. Peter Parker is definitely a much more average man, despite his genetic alterations, and is flawed to an extent that is still believable but leaves him to be an excellent and almost too likable protagonist. So it really comes down to what qualities you look for in your superhero alter ego. I apparently choose glamour, he chooses morality. Go figure I’d choose glory over saving little old ladies.

Anyway, now the question is raised: Yeah, Batman is a BAMF, but Spiderman is super strong and speedy quick. What if he was matched up against another Marvel hero, say, Wolverine? Who would win?

My theory is that Wolverine would kick the ever-loving shit out of Spiderman.

Spiderman may have speed on his side, but Wolverine would just steal a motorcycle to outrun him. Spiderman is smart, but Wolverine is street smart. And Wolverine has a friggen adamantium skeleton. He is not going down without a fight, especially with his regenerative powers. Spiderman would literally have to plant a grenade on Wolverine to take him out. All Wolverine’s gotta do is claw Spidey to death and he’d be toast.

This is getting frustrating. Clearly, I win this argument.

 

 

And since I’ve been meaning to post this since TDK came out:





Thursday, blegh.

31 07 2008

Today is kind of a shitty day. I’m trying to get who I am down on paper but I think it’s the hardest thing I’ve done in a long time.

I wish some people would just give me the fucking time of day.





Tattoos and progress?

24 07 2008

So I haven’t really written much about my past few days, so here it goes.

Friday, I of course went to go see The Dark Knight. It was amazing. Enough said.

Saturday, I spent the day with my mom shopping and then I drove out to Long Island to go see my friends’ band’s show down at the Crazy Donkey. The show was a lot of fun and it was really nice to catch up with those guys. Afterwards, we went out to Dan’s house in Queens and had a good old time at the after party. John tells an amazing story. Or, you know, thirty. Basically didn’t leave the party till 2am and then drove all the way back home listening to shitty pop music and generally feeling amazing.

Sunday, I bummed around all day. Went to lunch with my family and watched television with my mom all night.

Monday, work. Lots of work.

Tuesday, Work again! Then I went out with some friends and we just kinda hung out and did a lot of nothing. Got kinda bummed out at the end of the night, but then the ex called and things seemed to be picking up again. Until…

Wednesday. Work. Fighting and misunderstandings. I really hate the internet sometimes because there’s no way to really defend yourself when it comes to someone misinterpreting what you’re saying, especially when they’re already very angry with you and don’t want to hear a word, or “excuse”, that comes out of your mouth. The afternoon picked up a little bit.  We both agreed to kind of start out with a clean slate and not have any expectations, he that I would fail and I that we would get back together. Therapy went really well and my assignment this week is to think of things that I want to change about myself, things that he wants me to change about myself, and the reasons I’m afraid of being alone. Great. Those lists will probably make it on here at some point, along with lasts week’s assignment if I ever finish it.

Today, pay day! I’m five days worth of very little pay richer! I don’t know what I’m doing tonight but it’s probably nothing good. Probably just cleaning my room and preparing for the weekend. Might even go to the gym!

I might go out and get another tattoo (or three) before school starts and I run out of money. Who knows, but I’m definitely seriously considering some ideas.





Send me on my way.

22 07 2008

I’m pretty sure tonight is the night my inside self is taking a stand. Or, at least, something like that.

I have determined that I am done letting my life rule me. This is my life. Mine. Why would I leave something that amazing up to chance? I’ve gotta stop sitting back and I’ve got to slap life in the fucking face and just start living. Do what I want, when I want. Love, hate, feel each inch of life. I want everything completely and nothing halfway. It’s come down to all or nothing.

Everything is beautiful.  I don’t care if it’s rough and splintered and covered in blood. It’s fucking perfect the way it goddamn is. Sometimes we just have to realize that us sitting back and bitching about what’s being handed to us is completely the opposite of what we should be doing. Too many people just whine about how they’re living these completely empty lives. Get up and do something about it. I’ve gotta do it too. We all have to. This is our time to let go and hold on, all at the same time.

I’ve got to let go of this person that I’ve been for the past few years. That’s not me. I’ve known that it wasn’t me for a long time but I didn’t do anything about it. I didn’t think I was strong enough. I’m about as solid as I’ve ever been and I’m NOT backing down now. I’ve worked too hard to get to where I am. I’m going to fucking own my life. Hold on. Let go and hold on.

I don’t need anyone. I’m self-sufficient. I’m independent. I don’t need someone to hold my doors for me. I open my own doors and when they’re isn’t one, I’ll get a wrecking ball and make a huge fucking hole in the wall to let me through. It’s not to say that I wouldn’t mind a nice guy with a cute smile holding my door open for me. I definitely wouldn’t mind that one bit. It’s just time for me to realize that a guy is a luxury, not a necessity.

I told him I changed. I told him I got better. I am better. I’m getting better by the second and one day, he’s going to realize what he’s missing out on. For now, this is me. I’m myself, and I’m happy. I’m one whole person. Do what you love and fuck the rest? Damn fucking straight. That’s exactly what’s going to go down from now on.





Duh nuh nuh nuh, Duh nuh nuh nuh BATMAN!

19 07 2008

I don’t even know how to explain the amazingness of what I saw on screen tonight. It. Was. PERFECT.

There’s a reason Dark Knight is the number three movie of all time on IMDB.





So, hello.

18 07 2008

I’m not quite sure where to start, so here goes.

I’m Sarah. I’m a student, full time. I go to college pretty locally. I work my ass off at just about everything I do. I’m also a secretary for the biggest HVAC company in my county. I’ve got really great friends, they’re pretty much my family.

I recently had this sort of revelation and a lot of things that were taking a huge toll on my life came together and I suddenly just felt a lot better. I’m back in therapy after a three year hiatus and life seems pretty good. I’m generally happy now, except that I’m going through a really bad breakup with this guy that I thought might stick around for a lot longer. I know I took advantage of him but I also know that I could handle the relationship now if I got another chance, it’s just a matter of convincing him that I deserve one.

Tonight, I’m going to see Dark Knight, probably for free. Going with my best friend and her boyfriend. There’s a movie theatre about twenty minutes away that, after 11pm, does not check tickets. Hopefully we can actually get in.

Also, I’m a huge fucking dork.