So in my random browsing of the interwebs today, I somehow (and I’m not really sure how this somehow happened) found a lovely article, like so:
Which, if you read, is actually pretty funny, along with the other articles on the website. I especially enjoyed the video of the two emo asian kids dueling to the death. But maybe that’s just me.
In other news, I’m currently in a three hour argument over who would win in a fight, Spiderman or Wolverine.
This all began with the question, who would you rather be: Spiderman or Batman? My answer, without question, was Batman. Batman is not genetically altered. He is not an extraordinarily good soul. He is just a man that has both selfish and addictive urges and tendencies, but is generally a pretty stand up guy in that he uses his power in society to help those in need. Everything he does is completely plausible. He uses physics, not fantasy. Awesome, to say the least. Spiderman, however, although very cool and very much so one of the greatest superheroes of our time, was just a lame dorky kid that accidentally got bitten by a spider and then got jacked overnight. Yeah, it’d be pretty fucking cool to have a web shoot out of your limbs, but I think I’d enjoy the glory more if it was my own power battling the evil-doers than, say, a blue and red spider’s. I will give my friend some credit, however. His choice is Spiderman. Peter Parker is definitely a much more average man, despite his genetic alterations, and is flawed to an extent that is still believable but leaves him to be an excellent and almost too likable protagonist. So it really comes down to what qualities you look for in your superhero alter ego. I apparently choose glamour, he chooses morality. Go figure I’d choose glory over saving little old ladies.
Anyway, now the question is raised: Yeah, Batman is a BAMF, but Spiderman is super strong and speedy quick. What if he was matched up against another Marvel hero, say, Wolverine? Who would win?
My theory is that Wolverine would kick the ever-loving shit out of Spiderman.
Spiderman may have speed on his side, but Wolverine would just steal a motorcycle to outrun him. Spiderman is smart, but Wolverine is street smart. And Wolverine has a friggen adamantium skeleton. He is not going down without a fight, especially with his regenerative powers. Spiderman would literally have to plant a grenade on Wolverine to take him out. All Wolverine’s gotta do is claw Spidey to death and he’d be toast.
This is getting frustrating. Clearly, I win this argument.
And since I’ve been meaning to post this since TDK came out:
